Saturday, September 27, 2008

Shine on Harvest Moon...

Tonight was my adoption support group's Harvest Moon Festival. The president and founder of my adoption agency, Samuel Feng, was our speaker. It was so providential that he was there tonight - I got to ask him lots of questions about the future of my adoption. He eased my fears about what happens if I have to renew again...As far as China goes, I am in. If anything else has to happen, it's just for the US end of things. He promised me that I would get my baby. When he said that and some other moms around me were confirming that I would hold Emma, I just lost it. I cried the tears that I have felt building up in me this week. I cried from relief and longing...I cried for the day I will hold my sweet baby in my arms. It will happen. Also, he had a meeting with the president of the CCAA. Samual explained to him that Americans would not continue to wait three or more years for a baby and that the wait would have to shorten. Many of the government workers who work in the adoption circuit were pulled to work on the Olympics. Now that the Olympics are over, they should be back in the adoption circuit and maybe that will help to speed things up. The CCAA president said he wants to get the wait to 2 years or less. Knowing that I am almost at 20 months...there is hope that my wait will not be endless.
(Samuel speaking to our group about the most current adoption updates)
(Me with Samuel, his wife Lily and daughter Elizabeth - who is adopted...from China!)
Our evening ended with a bang...literally...lanterns and fireworks! First, one of our members provided these beautiful paper lanterns which we lifted off in honor and hopes of our children. Once you opened it, you had to hold it open and up as the fire warmed the air in the lantern and eventually, it would begin to rise. I stood there trying to hold my lantern, but it was too hard to hold it open and light it...I yelled out, "HELP! I need a husband! I need a husband!" I got a few laughs out of that! As my lantern lifted into the sky I just prayed...and cried...and dreamed of the moment when Emma won't be just a wish...a dream...a hope....a prayer...I dreamed of the moment when she will be in my arms and I will smell her sweet smell...and kiss her absolutely all over.
(Thanks to Tony for being my stand in husband!)
(My prayers for Emma lifting toward heaven)
The site of all these lanterns was amazing...all these children who now have forever families to love and care for was very emotional for me...I wish a picture could convey the beauty of it all!

Maybe...just maybe...Next year I will get to light a lantern with Emma and listen to her scream with glee as we watch the fireworks together!

I see the moon...and the moon sees me...God bless the moon...and God bless me...please let the light that shines one me...shine on the one I love!


Susan said...

amazing indeed. I too pray that the next Harvest Moon will be with Emma. We love you.

Sorry Dave ate most of your delish strawberry pretzel salad and others didn't get any :) He said in the car on the way home that "you got it right" - just the perfect amount of crunchies on the bottom and yummy goo on the top!

Lori said...

Yes, God bless you. :) Maybe next year with your Emma....!!

Alana said...

I loved reading this! I'm so thankful you were able to have some of your fears put to rest, hopefully your heart will be more peaceful. I'm so impressed with your strength and patience in this process...