I dreamed of her last night...my sweet angel. It was one of those dreams that as I began to wake, I was willing myself to stay asleep because I knew that when I woke, my arms would be empty. I could feel her in my arms...I could almost smell her sweet smell. I remember saying, "I can't believe nobody wanted her." But I want her...I want her so badly that it makes my heart ache. The everyday is hard enough, but the holidays seem to have a little extra ache with them. I suppose it's the time with family...the traditions I long to make with her...the thoughts of "oh, won't it be fun to watch Emma at Christmas?" And it will be...in God's time...I've come to discover that even though I am often frustrated by HIS time...it always works out best...and I have no doubt about that being the case with Emma.
Praying this Christmas season for joy in the journey...that I would live each day to it's fullest and not simply long for the not yet!