Friday, December 5, 2008

Sweet Dreams

I dreamed of her last sweet angel. It was one of those dreams that as I began to wake, I was willing myself to stay asleep because I knew that when I woke, my arms would be empty. I could feel her in my arms...I could almost smell her sweet smell. I remember saying, "I can't believe nobody wanted her." But I want her...I want her so badly that it makes my heart ache. The everyday is hard enough, but the holidays seem to have a little extra ache with them. I suppose it's the time with family...the traditions I long to make with her...the thoughts of "oh, won't it be fun to watch Emma at Christmas?" And it will God's time...I've come to discover that even though I am often frustrated by HIS always works out best...and I have no doubt about that being the case with Emma.

Praying this Christmas season for joy in the journey...that I would live each day to it's fullest and not simply long for the not yet!


Anonymous said...

That is great that you dreamed of her...I dreamed of my Meisha a couple of months before referral and I knew exactly what she would look like. Did you get to see her face.

Tammy & Meisha

Angie said...

I've never seen her face very clearly...I've seen her clothes, her feet, her hands, and her hair..It was that baby fuzz hair. Another dream I had of her, I was introducing her to the board of the CCAA (who ironically were all American) and as I said, "I'd like you to meet my daughter, Emma" I just lost it. Can't wait to say those words!

Tiffany said...

My heart aches for you, Angie. One of these days as you sit by your Chrismas tree with Emma, it will seem like she has always been with you and you won't even remember these days of waiting. I am praying for you.

Alana said...

Sweet friend, I love your heart for Emma.