Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bummed with a capital B!

Over 1,460 days ago, I began the process to adopt Emma. Not the THINKING...the decision was made...I started the process August 5, 2005.

When I started, China only allowed 8% of an agencies families to be single. The agency I started with did a "lottery" of sorts. About twice per year, they would open up their window for single people. Usually within a day, that window closed. I decided I didn't like my odds in that as I lived a good 10 hours from the agency. So with a little research, I did change agencies to one with a waiting list...felt a little more safe that way!

August 10, 2006, I got the call to start my paperwork! I was so excited...but terrified! There were rumors then that China was going to stop accepting singles. Also, at the time, the wait was a mere 13 months. I remember worrying that I wouldn't be ready in time. I also remember many conversations with my friend, Susan, who encouraged me to go ahead and start...that there would never be a perfect time...and what if China did stop accepting singles??? So I forged ahead with fingerprints, homestudy visits, doctor visits, mounds of paperwork...and got it all finished in record time - well, except for waiting on the elusive 171-h that took forever!

I remember so vividly the day I recieved that one piece of (very expensive) paper. I was babysiting Elizabeth and it was the day after Thanksgiving. When I opened the envelope from USCIS, I wasn't even sure what it was and had to call Elizabeth's dad to confirm if this was in fact the form I had been waiting on...then I saw it...on the bottom of the paper... "FORM 171-h" I started jumping up and down, crying and Elizabeth and I gathered everything and ran to overnight my now complete dossier. And then, just over 2 months later, I was LOGGED IN on January 31, 2007.

So much has happened since then...the process feels as if it's nearly come to a halt. When I started the paperwork in August of 06, they were giving referrals to families logged in in October 2005. Now, 3 years later, they've only gotten through 5 more 3 years, 5 months!! It just seems outrageous to me! There have been multiple rumors of speed ups...after the Olympics...after the new year...after China's new year...after November... After the fall...that's where we are now. I am holding out hope of a speed up once we are through with the "month" of March.

So I sit here 31 months "paper pregnant" I wonder if it will ever be my turn...


Susan said...

so sorry Ang. You are doing a fab. job 'hanging' in.

As the old saying goes when you are on a plane to China at 42,000 ft. and "only" 8.75 hours into a 16 hour ride and you think you just can't stand it any longer....where are you going to go? The parachute isn't a great option at that moment. YOU are on that flight.

a big hug.

The Raudenbush Family said...

933 days from your LID puts it into perspective for sure. I know it's hard. I feel your pain. We are holding onto hope because we know our daughter is out there. We don't know where exactly and how old she is and what she looks like. But, we do know that God called us to do this, and He will see it to completion. Until then, we will keep on being obedient for today and simply wait. (sigh)
By Grace, Kelly

Cindy said...

Ang, I have no words of inspiration but just wanted to send you heartfelt empathy and friendship. Hoping we both get through this with a shred of sanity left ;)
much love from your long time friend you've never met,

tiffany said...

Wow that is shocking when you put it that way! That they have only processed 5 months in the last 3 YEARS?? Oh my.

I KNOW they are capable of so much more. We waited under a year for each of our three kiddos. When we got our referral for Sophie (Sept 03), they were processing TWO MONTHS of log ins each month. For our agency alone that was about 130referrals every single month. I say that to say its possible. They CAN process more. I hope they decide to do so soon.

Mostly, I am so sorry for your ridiculously long wait.

Steve and Kristen said...

I've never met you, but I do read your blog. My heart aches for you because I know what it's like to want to be a mommy and wonder if it will ever happen. Keep trusting, keep waiting, God put those desires in you.

Waiting4Audrey said...

Oh Angie...please hang in there with me! My agency said there thought there might be a "speed up" after March was finished. Maybe March will be finished in one month and we will get our referral in January 2011. My I171H expires November 1 and I have started to update my homestudy, again! My social worker is coming in mid-september. I am hoping this is the last time and our babies will be home with a 4 year wait and NO longer. Take Care!