Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Emotional...
Tonight Mom and I went to Target. I love Target. We walked through the baby things and with each "ooh" and "aah" my heart felt more and more heavy. I have said over and over - and truly believe - that Emma will come when it's time, but tonight...tonight I couldn't help but wonder if it would ever happen. My heart aches...my arms are empty...my mind is full of dreams. Will it ever happen? Will I ever get to really buy things and not just look and dream? At times I feel so triumphant..."I have made it 6 months into the wait." And other times, so discouraged that there could be 30 or more to go! I think if there was an end...if I knew when the wait would be over...instead of thinking, maybe next year...maybe 5 years...I think then I would feel better. This not knowing is rough! There is a purpose in the wait...I just don't know what it is tonight.
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5 comments:
I'm right there with you today, girl! Sunday marked my 6 month LID and I have handled the wait pretty good until yesterday. I dreamed of my daughter in China and my heart just broke. I just wanted to hold her. In my dream I held her close and when I woke up I could still feel her. What can we do as mothers without children?
Erica
http://erica-mayling.blogspot.com/
I know how you're feeling, Angie. Some days are better than others, but I guess you just have to keep the faith that Emma is out there waiting to come home to you! Kristen
http://thisangelchildofmine.blogspot.com
Know how you are feeling too! I'm 4 months in and been in a "funk" about the wait for about 2 weeks now. I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Some days are good .... others not so good. Retail therapy helps. Hang in there!! You're not alone!
Cheers,
Kim Y
LID 3/29/07 for Megan Jean
Ladybug Kreations
lbkreations.blogspot.com
Hey Ang, Look on the Right hand side of your blog. It's a great time to read your life verse :)
Glad you got through "Red" day.
S.
I love you Angie!!!
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