Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Come and gone...

Another month...come and gone. At times, it seems time is flying...other times, I wonder if time's even moved. Last week marked 21 months since I was logged in in China. I am feeling a little pity-ish this week. Referrals are coming in...looks like CCAA made it through all of 1.5 days. This may be a record low. How can this be? How? I am SO grateful that I am even IN this race. I am SO incredibly NOT ready for Emma...the finances are not good right now...there are things that need to be done before she gets here...but still, my heart wishes it would at least feel like I would one day hold my sweet girl. She feels like such a dream right now...I've lost that sense of "real" I had before that was so comforting.

2 comments:

amazeingteacher said...

I completely understand! I'm so grateful to be 'in line' as well, but just wish we really had some kind of projection to really count on. With the rate things are going, it makes me wonder if I really ever will hold my daughter. On the other hand, like you, I'm not completely ready at this moment anyway. My finances are not good either. I have to count on the fact that God's timing is perfect!

Sturgill said...

I remember only too well how difficult the wait was in our process for my baby. My heart goes out to you. Pregnancy waiting is difficult, and add the fact that you will be pregnant longer than many mommas, well the adoption process is tough, tough, tough!