Sunday, November 22, 2009

Tugging

You all know that adoption is close to my heart.  I read this post on a friend's blog tonight and my heart is just heavy.  Apparently, Canada is refusing to grant visa's to orphans in several countries...families stuck in such a difficult place...having a child, but not being able to bring them home.  What is this world coming to that caring for an orphan - growing a family - would be so full of beaurocratic junk?!?!  My heart is heavy...not just for these families...not just with fears for my adoption process, but for what this means to our nation - our world!  Why are babies having to live without families to care for them while governments spin this frightening web of control?!?!?

So please, join me in praying for the cause of the orphan...for those without a voice.  Pray with me for the families caught in this frightening, lonely, gut-wrenching web...and pray that not only would they be released, but the web would be detroyed!

Also, in talking more to my agency about my desire to adopt Faith, I have learned that there is actually a rule that singles cannot transfer agencies for a specific waiting child.  Married couples, however, can transfer...that doesn't make sense to me, but somehow it has given me peace about the situation that I did not feel before.  Then tonight, I read this quote on another blog that just ministered to my very soul!

The quote comes from the book "The Strength of Mercy" by Jan Beazely.  This is what she heard God say to her when an adoption for a specific child fell through:



"I showed you one to give you another. Trust me.
You don't have time to grieve over this.
If you do, you'll miss the child I have for you.
I promise in the end you will see and understand."
 
When I began to realize that I was not going to be able to adopt Faith...I cannot describe the hurt.  I felt as if a part of me had died.  I know, I had only seen her face for a few days...she wasn't even mine...but I loved her.  I loved her.  I imagine that must be a bit of what it emotionally feels like to have a miscarriage.  Some may think that sounds extreme, but it's the best way I can think of to describe it...it was a miscarriage that occured in my heart, not my uterus.  The quote was just another reminder that God IS faithful.  HE IS! 
 
So...keep praying my friends...God is at work.  His heart is for the orphan.  I pray that we may be able to break through some of the beaurocratic junk that makes it so difficult for families to adopt. 

2 comments:

Cindy said...

Heartbreaking... sending many prayers.

Erica said...

I am so sorry. As you know I experienced something very similar only it was before singles were not allowed to transfer agencies for SNs so it had to come completely from me. It hurt then--I literally cried for weeks. I tucked her photo away in a journal, tried to delete or at least move all the emails relating to her. Even now, it still stings from time to time. Even after I realized how extremely busy Duc makes me and how the timing and all the unknowns made this a bad decision, I still wonder where that little girl is. I cry when I think about her not having a mom to tuck her in at night or hold her when she cries. It just feels so unfair to me even though I know God has a plan for both of us.

My prayers are with you and Faith.