Thursday, May 13, 2010

Unknown



That word is plaguing me right now...unknown. I received some papers to proof tonight one was her "certificate of abandonement" and the other is her birth certificate. It states her biological parents and her place of birth are unknown. I am thankful though that while there are so many unknowns in her life, she is totally known by her Creator...The One who made her and knows her completely...the One who watches over her even when I cannot...the One who loves her with a love that is bigger than I can even fathom...



Today was full of so many emotions...I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to post about it. The start odf the day was a bit of touring around the city. We went to the small Wild Goose Pagoda. It was a beautiful garden and former Buddhist temple. Thereere several shops there. In one, local farmers and artists sold paintings. Some were "classical chinese painting" and some were called "peasant paintings." They were all so beautiful, I bought one of the classical pieces. At another place, there was a very talented calligrapher who wrote her Chinese name as well as her American name on a beautiful piece of rice paper. I plan to fram this for her room. Within the Pagoda, was the drum tower with a large bell that you could ring for good luck.









After that, we went to a jade factory to learn the ins and outs of jade. I bought a gift for my Momma...she said she wanted a piece of jade...as well as a bracelet for Emma when she is older. I was a little shocked at how pricey it was. There are 4 things to look for when purchasing Jade.

1. Color...pieces with a variety of shades and colors are of a higher quality than pieces of one color.
2. Transluscence...light will pass through better quality jade
3. hardness...higher quality jade is harder
4. Finally, more detailed pieces are higher quality

There's your jade lesson for today...there will be a quiz.



After that, we headed to visit the place where Emma was found. She was found in the pediatric ward of a hospital. As I got out of the can, my heart just sank thinking about what that day must have been like for her birthmother and birthfather. I wondered where exactly they layed her down...was she bundled up? Did she cry? I have the name of the person who found her, but was unable to locate him or anyone at the hospital to question them. My heart was so torn - so happy that she is mine, but aching for all she has lost in her 2 short years. She is an amazing child!

Then, we drove to the orphanage. The grounds were beautiful and well maintained. We met the manager of the orphanage there and she led us to her office and shared some facts about the orphanage as well as a lollipop with Emma and John...I think Emma is STILL sticky. There are about 800 children in the care of the orphanage. About 400 of those are in foster homes and the remaining 400 live there at the orphanage. Well...399 now!

The nannies scolded me something fierce for not having her dressed warmly enough and I confess that I would have put more on her if I had known it was THAT chilly. they even gave me a pair pf pants to put on over her clothes!

I had her in the carrier...not really wanting to let anyone else hold her during our visit, but they just come up and took her out of my arms...I thought they were going to pull off her legs or my neck trying to get her out. She did go to them and seemed glad to see them, but in the end, I am happy to say, that she reached for me and I gladly took her! What a blessing that was for my heart...she knows that I am Momma!

My heart was so overwhelmed by the end of the visit. I think I could have just layed there and cried. It was a blessing to visit those special places - and I am so gla I went, but it was not easy. In fact, I think Emma faired better than Momma...it just broke my heart. I am glad that in years to come, I will be able to share with her a bit more about her first 2 years.

Another emotional point of today was that Amy had to leave to return to the states. We will miss her so much as she was a great help and Emma loved being in the stacking cup band with her Aunt Amy. I will be so glad to see her again when we return...and I have a feeling she will have a bag of Pal's frenchie fries in her hand!

Tomorrow we will leave Xi'an...the only place Emma has ever known. I will be sad to leave for that reason, but am really looking forward to moving on. I am so emotionally tired...and jsut lonesome for home. Our last stop is Guangzhou in southern China. It is here that Emma will have a medical exam and a TB test...please pray that she does not have a reaction to the TB test or anything else that may delay our return. We will also have an appointment with the US Consulate and apply for a VISA for Emma to travel to the US...her new home.

Tomorrow morning is free and I will spend it packing. PLease be praying for Emma as she takes her first flight...just a taste of what it to come...

8 comments:

Shelley said...

Lucky Baby...Lucky Momma
BLESSED Baby...BLESSED Momma!!!!

We love you Angie ~

tiffany said...

I know the trip starts to get long, but I also promise you that once you are home, you will want to be right back where you are! Each trip, GZ has been new life for our selves, our new baby and our trip. Have a glass of iced tea at Lucys with that syrupy sugar! A starbucks will be right handy to your hotel (everything is close if you are staying on the island). For a snacky type thing, I adore the "indian pizza" which is not like pizza at all really at Cow and Bridge (c and b? is that the right name- suddenly not sure but you are sure to go there if it is still there...). Anyhow, you look like a natural with that cutie pie girl and I am so happy for you!

Shauna and MacLean said...

I was in X'ian a few years ago with my daughter who is now 11 and we visited many of the same places. I understand how you feel, we didn't get any information on our abandonment certificate and never got to see the orphanage and know where my daughter was found. I am not sure it bothers her as much as it does me. We weren't allowed to visit her orphanage when we went back a few years ago so that was hard most of the other kids were doing that. We volunteered at an orphanage for over two weeks and that was a blessing. We loved it. Take care and thanks for sharing your journey. Emma is just adorable.

tammy said...

wow!!!...I sooo relate to how you are feeling...I cried so hard when we left Meisha's province, it is a hard thing to do..I agree with Tiffany when you get home you will have a longing to go back..I missed it so bad, strange I know but I left a piece of my heart in China.

Blessings Angie & Emmma

Tammy & Meisha

Erica said...

the questions that I have about my son still haunt me. There are so many unknowns and I feel slightly crazed at times when I think of how much of his life is a question mark.

You and Emma look beautiful. Enjoy this time because as tough as it gets, you will look upon it fondly. I remember too well staring out the windows trying to memorize each moment, each smell. I knew I would miss it later and I do. I miss Vietnam more than I anticipated.

Becca Carson said...

Angie,

I have enjoyed following your journey to get your precious daughter! I have been crying everyday reading your blog. Enjoy the rest of your time in the country of your daughter's birth, and have fun shopping in Guangzhou. Love & Prayers, Becca

amazeingteacher said...

I'm so glad to be home now so I can follow and catch up on your journey to Emma! She is beautiful and you look so great! How do you do that? I looked a mess while I was in China! ha! Take care and enjoy your time together in China!!

Jen said...

Looks like you are having an amazing time in China! Emma is a beautiful little girl. Thank you for letting others follow along with you via your blog :)

Blessings!
Jen